To Freedom.

Some days, my alarm goes off in the morning, I scream "No, God, WHY?!" into my pillow like a 12 year old having a temper tantrum, and then I walk to the shower with my eyes still closed.  

Other days, I throw the covers back, leap joyously from the bed, and serve up the best Tyra Banks strut and hair flip. 

And by 'some days' I mean always, and 'other days' I mean today. 

Today is the only day I've ever done that. 

But I did it for good reason! 

Today is Day 31 of the Whole30 Challenge! 

I'm done! I did it!

Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I am free at last!

Now I would be a huge hypocrite if I wasn't completely honest here.  So in the spirit of full disclosure, I cheated 2 days shy of the 30 day mark.  

Sue me.

It was Valentine's Day. It was 75 and sunny outside. I needed wanted a frozen drink with my crawfish, so you know what? I got a frozen drink with my crawfish! (and then about 5 more beers, and a pizza that would later destroy me, but that's neither here nor there...)

So I 'broke the rules' on day 28 of 30. BUT since I spent the night throwing up all of my regret and shame, I'm going to say that my body gave me it's own version of a 'mulligan' and that little slip up didn't count.

Because this is my story, and I can do what I want. 

So what did I learn these past 30 days? 

• There are things that taste as good as skinny feels.
• Cheese is in everything and that's the way God intended it. 
• I have alcoholics as friends...kidding...kind of.
• You can loose weight in 30 days if you don't eat like a garbage disposal.
• If you don't eat pizza like foods for 28 days and then decide to go balls to the wall and eat 4 slices with garlic butter YOUR BODY WILL BETRAY YOU. 

Take that last little nugget of advice as a PSA.

Overall I do genuinely feel better.  

My clothes fit better, I have more energy, and I lost about 13 pounds.

Was I in this purely for the weight loss? 

Of course I was, why else would I subject myself to this?

But in all seriousness, no matter how daunting 30 days sounds, no matter how hard it may seem to meal plan for that many meals, and no matter how many 'fun' things you think you may miss out on, it is totally worth it and I completely recommend this challenge as a reset, not only for your body, but also for your mind. 

So where do I go from here? 

I'm going to slow down the 100% all natural train and switch over to a little 80/20 action.

80% of the time (aka Monday-Friday) I plan on eating like I have these past 30 days.

The other 20% I plan on being more lenient while trying my best to not turn into the Cookie Monster during meals.

It's all about balance.

...To Crying Wolf

Growing up I was the queen of the Nurse's office.  You see, when you're a chubby little 8 year old and you run around outside at recess like your life depends on it, your face gets a little red... like a tomato according to some mean kids who grew up to amount to nothing, but that's neither here nor there...

Anyway, when your face gets red and you're a sweet chubby little 8 year old, your teachers will look at you and ask "Sarah, are you feeling okay?" and with your best Meryl Streep Oscar winning performance, you'll sulk and moan and shake your head 'no' because the possibility of going home 'sick' is wayyyy better than sitting through another math hour trying to learn about fractions.

My Mother always knew. 

Of course she did. 

She'd be walking down the hallway and I'd be poking my head around the corner and she'd just shoot me one of those looks like 'oh you're going to wish you really were sick'... she loved me.

Can you be a hypercondriac in elementary school?  Probably, but I wasn't, I just liked getting out of class.

But I 'cried wolf' a few too many times in my life.  Like the one time I had an ear infection so bad that every time my heart would beat it felt like someone was stabbing me in the ear, but my teacher wouldn't let me go to the nurse because I'd been 5 times that week (true).  Or the time I had emergency surgery to have my appendix removed but the school nurse wouldn't let me call my mom because I didn't have a fever and the pain in my side was "probably just cramps".

Growing up is fun.

My mother really won a prize with me.

I always think about my 'crying wolf' days when I'm sick.  Ahh, to be young and a wonderful actress....

I truly missed my calling.

Being sick sucks.

Being sick when all you want is some ice cream and you're too stubborn to break this stupid 30 day challenge on day 23 sucks.

Being sick AND being on this stupid 30 day challenge when it's National Pizza Day (like, WHAT?) can make a girl suicidal.

Welcome to my life.

While I'm trying my best to combat whatever my beautiful little petri-dish students have surely given me (not crying wolf here!), here are some recipes I promised I'd be consistent in sharing but have failed to do so.

Enjoy!

 Garlic and Artichoke Stuffed Chicken with Cauliflower Mash

 Yellow Fin Tuna "Sushi"

Prosciutto Egg Cups

Guacamole Stuffed Chicken (not my picture... obvs)

...To Giving Up

I've never thought of myself as a quitter.

I'm too stubborn.

I do a lot of things in my life just to prove a point, ask my husband. However, there is something to be said about a person who knows when it's time to walk away.  

Whenever I hear the word 'quit' it seems to have such a negative connotation.  

Couldn't they just follow through? Be committed to whatever they set out to be committed to?

Nobody likes a quitter.

Well nobody likes someone who's miserable either.

Enter me stage left three years ago.

Three years ago, I had been in Houston for a year and had nothing to show for it. I had signed up to be a substitute teacher while I could transfer my teaching licenses to Texas from Arkansas, but I had never actually taken a substitute position.  I had become a professional couch surfer, stay at home dog mom, and basically a huge waste of space.

And while being a professional couch surfer sounds great now and I think I would be really really good at it John (**please tell me to be a stay at home dog mom again**), when you're 25 and everyone around you seems to have their lives all figured out, it makes you begin to feel purposeless. 

Now don't get me wrong, I was trying to find jobs.  I'd fill in application after application, only to twiddle my thumbs waiting for any kind of response.  Finally, I got the response I'd been waiting for. It was a marketing position for a private school that offered all kinds of hoity-toity activities for kids and with my communications degree and masters in education, this seemed like the perfect fit! 

No longer would I have to dodge the "So Sarah, what do you do?" question. 

No longer would I have to make the same lame joke about being 'funemployed'. 

No longer would I go grocery shopping at eleven on a Wednesday with all of the stay at home moms and their screaming children.  

I. Was. Ecstatic. 

I started my first day at this new job right after the new year in 2013. I hit the ground running.  Fake it till you make it, amiright? Needless to say, I was in way over my head. And again, I was slowly becoming miserable.  I was thrown into a job where I was responsible for an entire team of marketers.  Like people were asking me for directions.  I had an intern for goodness sake. 

Didn't these people read my resume?!

Underprepared and overwhelmed should have been stamped on my forehead. But, never one to give up (remember that stubborn comment?) I tried my best to push through and give it my all... all the while I was drowning.  

Well, three years ago this week, the walls came tumbling down. 

I couldn't take it a day longer.

After crying, having my step-dad talk me off the ledge, and a really big 'come to Jesus' moment, I decided that my life, while it was miserable being at home, was much more miserable being at this job. 

So, I quit.

I went to lunch and never came back.

I know what you're thinking, that sounds really bad, but the situation was terrible, and I'm not even going to get into the details. 

But I did it. 

And the wave of relief I felt rush over me was like that feeling you get when someone cancels plans that you didn't want to go to anyway... the best, right?

I quit that awful job February 2nd. 

Remember those substitute positions I was signed up for but never took?

Well I finally bit the bullet and took one February 3rd.

One day after I quit my job and felt like a complete failure at 'adulting', I took this random sub job and this random school that I knew nothing about.

Three years later, and I am still at that same school teaching my own 3rd grade class.

Crazy, right?

Do things happen for a reason?

Yes.

Should you run away every time something gets hard?

No.

You just have to know your limitations, know when something is impairing your quality of life, and know when it's time to 'give up'.

...To Not Being Awful At Parties

This past weekend, my husband and I attended a lovely engagement party for some friends of ours. I love, love. I love watching people who are in love (creepy?). I love taking BuzzFeed quizzes to determine which celebrity is in love with me (Chris Pratt...obviously). And most of all I love celebrating love.  

Celebrating means different things to different people.  If you're 8, you celebrate things with cupcakes.  If you're 28 you celebrate things with shots a glass of wine. You know what isn't fun to celebrate with?
Water.
Sure, dieting is all fun and games from the comfort of your own home. But once you step into the real world, it's like you're a newborn foal trying to walk on wobbly legs for the first time. 

Well, I took my wobbly legs for walking last Saturday at this engagement party.  As soon as we arrived, we were greeted by the lovely hosts and offered beer, wine, and lots of treats that my heart desperately wanted, but my new lease on life brain stubbornly declined. So reluctantly (while a part of my fun side died) I asked for a water instead.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm 28 and married or because no one has ever seen me not drink on a Saturday night, but the sight of a water bottle in my hand immediately triggered the "Sarah, are you pregnant?" questions from our friends.  And while I tried my best to scream hell no how dare you politely say "no", I couldn't help but see the confusion on everyone's face and offer them up some sort of explanation of why in the world I would choose to not 'celebrate' at this party!

So each conversation went a little like this:

Friend: Why aren't you and John drinking?

Me: Oh well, we're doing the Whole30 diet so we can't.

Friend: **Blank stares**

Me (socially awkward about any lags in conversations): Yeah Whole30 is this diet where..... **30 minutes later**...... so that's why we're drinking water.

Friend: **desperately looking for a way out**

John: **long winded speech about how "Sarah's been cooking great things and it isn't so bad and I really want chocolate and basically I'm being tortured in my marriage, please save me."** 

Me: We are so much fun!

Repeat 10 times.

via GIPHY

Have you ever been in a conversation and literally watched the will to live drain out of the person standing in front of you? You can just feel that the other person is completely done with whatever you have to say. They start just smiling and nodding a lot and look like they're in a lot of pain.

There is nothing worse. 

So after several of these encounters, I had to hold a team meeting with my husband about how we were absolutely the worst people at this party and we needed to get it together or get out.  After deciding we couldn't look at the delicious foods and drinks much longer, we decided to gracefully get out.... and fly like the wind to the nearest Whole Foods and buy everything in sight. There's only 2 more weekends we have to suffer through this, right? 

Being this strict is hard. Seeing everyone else having fun while you "can't" is hard. Educating people about your current dietary habits in an unforeseen situation IS HARD. 

But I guess it's true what they say, nothing worth having comes easy.

...To Preparation

When I started thinking about committing to this Whole30 business I was really gung-ho about it.  I mean, what's the big deal? You go 30 days without eating a few little things that you probably shouldn't be eating anyway, and then wham-bam 30 days later you are the healthiest person on the planet and everyone will bask in the radiance of your accomplishments. 

Easy peasy, right?

Wrong.

So let me start with the "few little things you would kill to eat can't eat".  The number one question I've gotten about this self torture 'challenge' is "What can and can't you eat?".  The list of things you can eat is long, which is nice, but the list of things you can't eat is probably longer... like I'm talking receipts from CVS long (click on that if you have no idea what I'm talking about). 

Here are just some of the 'can't have' items:

-Dairy

-Grains

-Sugar

-Alcohol 

-Fun

-Joy

....you get the picture. 

Now why most of the items listed above encompass all of my love languages (xoxo pizza),  there are several things I've discovered that are allowed on the Whole30 challenge that I'm really enjoying.  Shocking, I know.

Once you're able to get over going to the grocery store wearing racing horse blinders, it really becomes easy. The most important part of these 30 days for me has been preparation. If I'm able to have all of my meals planned out then I'm not leaving myself the opportunity to 'cheat' or more importantly go hungry... because big girl gets hangry when she's hungry.  Here's my own personal plan to planning... that has OCD written all over it doesn't it?

Step 1: What will I eat this week?

This step occurs every Sunday when I pull up my handy-dandy Pinterest and get to searching.  I'll be honest with you, I am one of the pickiest eaters I know.  So this part is a little hard for me. But after searching, I'm always able to come up with enough dinner meals to keep me happy and my husband married to me.

Step 2: What ingredients do I need to cook the food that I will eat this week?

This is where I get out my handy-dandy notebook and write down all of the ingredients that each dish needs.  A lot of these meals use some of the same materials, so it's always important to write down each thing so you can make sure you've gotten enough to last you until next Sunday.

Step 3: Take the ingredients and organize it by area in the grocery store.

Remember my little OCD comment? I like to do things that make my life easier.  And being able to go to the store and walk in one circular motion around the store without running back and forth like a chicken with my head cut off makes my life easier.  Also, how awkward is it to run into the same stranger in every aisle? I mean you can only say "excuse me, I'm sorry" so many times. So if you think this step is super redundant, then proceed to step 4. If you are trying to get in your FitBit steps, then by all means skip this step. But, if you are thinking to yourself, "Sarah, you genius lady, you!" then call me and we can be best friends.

Step 4: Go forth and conquer!

You made it to the grocery store! Congratulations! Before starting the Whole30, I honestly could not tell you the last time I went to the grocery store.  Viva la takeout! But now, this is my life.  You can find me Sunday-Fundaying in aisle 3.

Step 5: Go home put everything away and sit down.

Put your feet up, you deserve this.

Step 6: Get back up, lazy, there's food to prepare.  

Look at the menu you made for the week.  Is there anything you need to prepare for tomorrow's dinner? Set out some meat to thaw? Chop up some onions to hide your tears from not Sunday-Fundaying? Take this time to fix up whatever you might need to make for the week while you have time.  Because if you're like me, when I come home from work, the last thing I want to do is spend forever cooking.

Easy right? Okay maybe a 6 step process doesn't seem that easy, but I promise once you do it a few times you'll be surprised at how much you can do! I am surprised by myself everyday!

Here's some recipes that I made this past week that you can use to get prepared for your upcoming week!

Let me know if you try any and how they turned out!

 Bacon Mushroom Spinach Frittata... because who doesn't like saying Frittata!!

 Dirty Cajun Cauliflower "Rice"

 Enchilada Chicken Stew

 Zucchini Noodles with Scallops and Bacon 

(BREAKING: Zucchini Noodles are called ZOODLES and I can't deal)

 Chicken Prosciutto (this was so good we're repeating it this week)

 This little Ceviche number that a sweet work friend made for me that was so good I had to make it for myself! 

 Plantain Nachos...feels like you're cheating, but jokes on you because you aren't!

And finally my own little breakfast concoction.  Hmm what should I name it???

I can give you the recipe for this also if you want.  Spoiler alert: It. Was. Good. 

A little side note: Thanks a lot for the feedback guys! I joke a lot, but you have no idea how it makes me feel to know that there are other people out there who can relate to what I go through with my daily battles between food and self appreciation... and to know that I'm inspiring even one person is crazy humbling.

Enough of the mushy stuff... now go on and

via GIPHY

...To Motivation

What inspires you to do something?  Once upon a time, this was the background on my phone. 

Every time I would slide that little unlock bar to the right, this girl was staring right back at me.  I'm not even kidding.  It came up on my timehop the other day and I was like 'Oh God, what was wrong with me? ...which is basically the reaction I have to everything on timehop, but that's not the point here. 
The point is motivation.   And in 2009 apparently Kim K was my go to girl for #goals. But what really gets me here is the accurate lovely reminder to myself to 'stop eating'.   Yeah girl, that's going to really get you where you want to go. 
We've all seen those 'weight-loss' infomercials where the testimonies say something along the lines of "I've tried every diet there is known to man and NOTHING worked until I tried (insert flavor of the week diet here)!" If you're like me, you roll your eyes, keep watching for another 20 minutes, write down the number, and think... wait, maybe they're on to something.  Maybe THIS is the miracle I've been searching for! 
So I try them.  You name it, I probably gave it a go once or twice. I've tried things from the fairly popular Paleo diet (which I did before my wedding and it actually did work, but I am in fact not a 'caveman' so it really wasn't a long term thing I could maintain) to the laser blast something or other that I got off of a Groupon and was located in a less than favorable strip mall, to the monstrosity of this torturous plan that I saw floating around Pinterest.

Spoiler Alert: While you won't lose the 10 pounds this diet promises, you will lose your will to live.   But obviously none of this ever pans out because Hello, I'm here and you're there reading this still shaking your head about the sketchy laser treatment (looking at you Mom). 
So what gives?  What am I missing here?  I have moments of motivation, but when I don't see immediate results... Bye motivation! See you later, motivation! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here, MOTIVATION!!!!!
Ugh.  I'm over it.  I like white girl literally can't with it.  
This is why I've been really surprised by myself lately. I kind of don't even know who I am right now. I have been so motivated with this Whole30 mess that I don't know why I haven't tried this before. Now lets be realistic. Do I know that I can not maintain this 'diet' every single day?  Yes.  I love cheese.  I dream about bread.  Pizza is my spirit animal.  However, anything that asks you to put down the processed foods with names that you can't pronounce and pick up a carrot or two couldn't hurt. 
What keeps you motivated?  What's your favorite motivational quote?  I know almost 100% some of them are lame and annoying, but sometimes you read one that really strikes a cord within you to make a change.  This is one of my favorites

So simple. So true. So universal. 
I'm choosing to be motivated.   And I don't need Kim Kardashian's 2009 body to tell me to 'stop-eating' to be. 

...To Moderation

Raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by pizza... then by margaritas Mexican food... then again by pizza.

I've always been a big fan of the YOLO life style. Because you know what, you really do only live once, and if I'm going to meet my Maker tomorrow, I want to meet that pizza delivery boy tonight!

However, this is sadly an irrational way to go about living, and if you do live your life 'YOLO-ing' your meals left and right, you may meet that Maker a little earlier than expected.  

I'm no expert, but I can read, and based on most of the things I've read and heard, the key here is moderation. 

Can you throw your hands in the air and face plant into a carton of Blue Bell ice cream every once in a while? 

YES. 

Do it! 

(and then video tape it and send it to me because that sounds like something I need to see)

Can you call you husband after a bad day and tell him to pop the top again because you've had a day you want to completely forget? 

YES.

Do it!

Please drink responsibly

Can you go out with friends and get appetizers that would feed a small third would country but in Texas is suggested to be shared between 4? 

YES.

Do it!

via GIPHY

HOWEVER, what I'm starting to realize accept is that, unless you want to be 'Momma' from What's Eating Gilbert Grape, you just can't go about living this way every night of every day of every month of every year for your whole life! 

I'm hanging up my party pants for a little while, and I've decided to 'reset' (see my 'starting over' post) my body and see what in the world happens when I stop drinking alchohol every night YOLO-ing and start paying attention to what exactly I'm stuffing into my food hole. 

At the end of each week I'm going to try be sharing some recipes I've been making following the Whole30 diet. Interested in finding out more about what Whole30 entails? 

Click here! 

Recipes, FAQs and all of the information on what exactly is 'allowed' (things that can be found in nature) and 'not allowed' (things that can be found in a drive-thru after 2am on a Friday night) are explained for you on the Whole30 website.

 Also, I can attempt to answer any questions you may have.  I mean, I am on Day 5 so I'm basically an expert. 

Click on the links below the picture to take you to the recipes I've been trying out! 

Happy eating! 

//1//2//3//4(cauliflower mash)//4(brussle sprouts)//