Wednesday, January 20, 2016

...To Starting Over

Have you ever woken up, thought to yourself "I could really go for a run today" and then ate 4 slices of pizza and drank a case 6 pack of beer instead?

Hi, I'm Sarah! 

For most, the New Year is a great time to reflect back on your past and make goals for your future. For me, it's a time to really ask the important questions in life like, 'When is the last possible day I can start that 30 day diet before spring break?' or "How many more days until I should probably be ready to wear a swimsuit?', and most importantly 'How often does Channing Tatum think about me?'

Now, besides the last question (which has the obvious answer of ALWAYS), I noticed a pattern.  All of my questions kind of centered around time.  'When will this be?', 'How many days until that?'. And not only was my life starting to become a countdown, but if I didn't meet my 'countdown goals', I missed out on the event I was even counting down to. I just wouldn't go. Or if I did go, I'd be so self conscious and down about myself that I (or anyone else around me...see: my husband) wouldn't have any fun.

This was a pattern for me. And after talking to a highly paid trained therapist, I decided that life is way too short to sit around and worry about what others think of me, and start worrying about what I think of myself.

So that's what has led me here. When will Sarah realize that life goes on no matter what others think? Will she ever truly accept the saying 'Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter'? And most importantly 'What does Sarah think about Sarah? 
Full disclosure: most of the time, Sarah wants to kick herself to the hypothetical curb. 

So let's start this out with some things that I have to constantly repeat to myself because even though I know that these statements are true, sometimes I constantly need a slap in the face reminder of them:

1. Time does not wait for you to 'get ready'.
This is a big one for me. Too often I've missed birthdays, pool parties, dinners, or even just a night hanging out because I didn't feel my body was 'ready'.  What does that even mean? I'm not even quite sure yet, but it starts with being happy (not comfortable, but happy) with yourself so much so that if anyone around you were to say something negative about your appearance, you would cringe, not because you thought they were right, but because you can only assume that they have some major insecurities if they're trying to take jabs at someone who looks as fly as you. (three snaps***)
2.  No one is as critical of you as you are of yourself.
Do you actively go to parties and look at people who are your friends and nit pick every single thing about them from their hair to the shoes on their feet? If so then shame on you. You're the worst. Please take a long walk off a short cliff. But if you're a normal person then the answer is 'NO!'. Guess what, no one does that.  Not as much as you do to yourself anyway. And if you are finding yourself surrounded by people that consistently talk negatively about people that are your 'friends', then you need to not walk, but RUN because those people are 100% saying the same negative things to those 'friends' about you. 
Probably make a number one new year's goal of finding some better, more supportive friends. 

3. Stop talking about it, and just DO IT ALREADY.
So many times I've said, 'I'll start Monday', or 'The first of the month is next week, I'll start eating better/ working out then.' Um...who made up this weird rule? If you get a burst of motivation that says, 'Hey girl, you put down that bag of chips and pick up that apple and lets do this'...then OH MY GOD put down that bag of salt and vinegar chips from Jimmy Johns because they're the best, and that bread...can we talk about it? and pick up that apple and get to work! And please see tip numero uno... because time doesn't wait for you to do what? Exactly. 


So here I am today.  I'm not waiting anymore. I'm trying my hardest going to be less critical of me. I'm DOING IT ALREADY.  

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